HILLARY'S FOLLIES, MURTHA'S JOLLIES: POLITICAL HUMOR

(Above) John Murtha Reacting to Lt. Col. William Russell's run for Congress

I promise today will not be a serious column. I shall instead look at the lighter side. I'm doing a separate light-side column on my other main blog. Please visit and tell all your friends -- well, at least tell both of them.

Why does John Murtha fear William Russell's candidacy? You might as well ask why a vampire isn't enamored with bright sunlight.

What does Murtha have in common with the Johnstown Flood? Both are all wet.
How long exactly has Murtha been in Congress? Since shortly before the Birth of the Republic.

Why did John Murtha cross the road? Because on to the other side he saw a lobbyist.

There's no truth to the rumor that Lt. Col Russell advocates re-naming Johnstown's "The John Murtha Cancer Center" and calling it "The American Taxpayers Cancer Center."

What did John Murtha change into when he stopped being a "hawk?" A chicken-hawk.

What was John Murtha's response when he got condemned for falsely criticizing the Haditha Marines? He asked, "Can't these people take a joke?"

Why does Hillary Clinton favor driver's licenses for illegals? Maybe she thinks one of them will run over Giuliani or Obama?

What will John Murtha's first TV ad look like? Him waving a white flag?Tuesday on NCIS Agent Gibbs said "There's no such thing as an ex-Marine." But has Agent Gibbs ever met John Murtha?

Hillary Clinton says there will be "no co-presidency" with hubby Bill. In that family, we know who wears the pants suits.

What's the difference between Washington lobbyists and Murtha? They write the checks -- and he signs them.

What will happen to Murtha's Johnstown cronies when he leaves the political scene? It will be forever known as "The Night the Lights Went Out."

What did Bill say when Hillary first confronted him with the Lewinsky rumors? "Liar, liar, your pants suit's on fire."

This is the year from "halves" in the Democratic Party -- Obama is half-Black, Richardson is half-Hispanic, Kucinich is half-grown, and Hillary is . . . half-baked.

Endorsement of the Week: "I support Dennis Kucinich because . . . I believe he offers an essential, viable and exciting option to the candidates who are more popular." (Larry Flynt, pornographer)

Why does Hillary really want to be President?

Oneupwomanship?

Votes For Sale: A poll of New York University students revealed that 20% would give up their vote in the next election for an iPod . . . Imagine that, college students with the right priorities.

Hillary's Follies, Murtha's Foolishness: Poltical Humor

John Murtha Reacting to Lt. Col. William Russell's run for Congress

I promise tomorrow (well, today, since I stayed up late) will not be a serious column. I shall instead look at the lighter side. I'm doing a separate (mostly) light-side column on my other main blog.

Why does John Murtha fear William Russell's candidacy? You might as well ask why a vampire isn't enamored with bright sunlight.

What does Murtha have in common with the Johnstown Flood? Both are all wet.

How long exactly has Murtha been in Congress? Since shortly before the Birth of the Republic.

Why did John Murtha cross the road? Because on to the other side he saw a lobbyist.

There's no truth to the rumor that Lt. Col Russell advocates re-naming Johnstown's "The John Murtha Cancer Center" and calling it "The American Taxpayers Cancer Center."

What did John Murtha change into when he stopped being a "hawk?" A chicken-hawk.

What was John Murtha's response when he got condemned for falsely criticizing the Haditha Marines? He asked, "Can't these people take a joke?"

Why does Hillary Clinton favor driver's licenses for illegals? Maybe she thinks one of them will run over Giuliani or Obama?

What will John Murtha's first TV ad look like? Him waving a white flag?

Tuesday on NCIS Agent Gibbs said "There's no such thing as an ex-Marine." But has Agent Gibbs ever met John Murtha?

Hillary Clinton says there will be "no co-presidency" with hubby Bill. In that family, we know who wears the pants suits.

What's the difference between Washington lobbyists and Murtha? They write the checks -- and he signs them.

What will happen to Murtha's Johnstown cronies when he leaves the political scene? It will be forever known as "The Night the Lights Went Out."

What did Bill say when Hillary first confronted him with the Lewinsky rumors? "Liar, liar, your pants suit's on fire."

Endorsement of the Week: "I support Dennis Kucinich because . . . I believe he offers an essential, viable and exciting option to the candidates who are more popular." (Larry Flynt, pornographer)

Why does Hillary really want to be President? Oneupwomanship?

For sale: A poll of New York University students revealed that 20% would give up their vote in the next election for an iPod . . .

John McCain, William Russell: How to Combine Efforts

Hillary Clinton: The Candidate We Love to Hate

The Economist magazine recently announced a poll that shows the "Hillary Paradox." They asked voters which candidate they would most like to come to dinner at their house and go on a family vacation with them. The winner (with the highest percentage total) was . . . Hillary Clinton.

Guess which candidate the highest percentage of voters would least like for the dinner/vacation combo? In fact, the loser was . . . Hillary Clinton.

Clearly, she's the woman Americans love . . . and hate.

I sent the following to Brad, an outstanding activist working hard on the John McCain Campaign. You can find Brad's current Internet enterprise here.

I hope at some point you might suggest to people on your extensive mailing lists that they would benefit from visiting William Russell's site and offering him any support they can (hint! hint!).

If they like John McCain, they're also going to like William Russell (and, I believe, the other candidates I'm targeting for support). For example, Heather Wilson of NM is the only female veteran -- Air Force -- ever elected to Congress, and she's in a tough battle in her state for the Senate nomination.

Second, you've contributed $50 to the Russell Campaign, and I told you I'd reciprocate by contributing $50 to your personal fund-raising effort for Senator McCain. I'm ready to donate when you ask.

Third, in 2004, a number of students from Massachusetts (and many other states) came to Pennsylvania, a presidential battleground state, to campaign for GWB and other candidates. The students knew that Massachusetts would not be competitive. I'm hoping some of them (and others) will return in 2008 to go door-to-door for the Republican presidential candidate and other fine candidates such as Russell and (Melissa) Hart.

Fourth, I write on my Camp2008 and SmartPolitics blogs about some old (and some new) campaign methods that will work for many Republican candidates. For example, in the 12th District there are 85,000 military veterans. The vast majority of them will vote for William if we can get to them and point up William's "Warrior" status. If we can get to all of the 85,000 veterans and their families, William will wake up one day next November as Congressman-elect.
The methods I talk about in my blogs also will work for McCain and other Republicans aiming for the presidential nomination. Frankly, for William to win his race, it's essential that the presidential nominee perform strongly in PA. If most voters cast their ballot for a McCain or a Giuliani, they'll be more likely to vote for William.

Fifth, it's important to ask potential supporters to make small contributions. Heather Wilson is asking for as little as $25. The idea is that if someone contributes $25, they'll probably contribute more at a later date. Such a person will also be "invested" in the campaign in an important (financial) way.

At Heather's site people can contribute as little as $10. My belief is that when people hear about all the millions going into presidential campaigns, they get intimidated. Ten bucks or 25 bucks won't scare people away.

OpenSecrets.org says that out of every 100 voters, only about 3 actually contribute to ANY political campaign. If we can -- somehow -- find a way to double that (to 6 out of 100), we will raise a good deal of money.

Six, tonight William Russell will appear at 10 p.m. Eastern on Political Pistachio Blog Talk Radio. I'm a believer in Blog Talk Radio, because it appeals to Republican activists, ones who vote, contribute, and influence others.

I'll do what I can to advance McCain's cause, partly because I'm so impressed by your actions on his behalf. I've said that the race could come down to McCain-Giuliani, which frankly would make me happy. I believe either of them could defeat either Clinton or Obama.

Brad, let's keep working together. As Benjamin Franklin put it, "We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."


Steve Maloney

REPUBLICANS: THE ANTI-ILLEGALS DISASTER

The person who apparently created the anti-Hispanic fundraising ad for the Nevada candidate is angry at me for supposedly blowing his cover. Since this blog site is new and few people read it, although that will change, he has little to worry about. (Scroll down to see what all the fussing is about.)

In Pennsylvania in 2006, Senator Rick Santorum -- one of the most hapless candidates in recent memory tried everything to get some leverage. Eventually, he started using the anti-illegals rhetoric in hopes it would help. It didn't.

Bob Casey is in favor of immigration reform (basically, the legislation supported by President Bush). Rick Santorum was against it. As far as I can see, that stance might have helped him in illegal-phobic lHazelton, but not anywhere else.

Santorum spent $27 million on his campaign. Casey spent $17 million. Santorum ended up with 41% of the vote, while Casey got 59%.

Why are the Democrats holding their national convention in Denver, Colorado? Because they believe the growing edge they have with Hispanic voters will win them Colorado (where Tom Tancredo is in low single digits).

Oh, they also believe the Hispanic backlash against Republicans will win them California (even against Rudy), Nevada, and New Mexico. And they think they have a great chance in Florida (all those Cuban-Americans, you know).

If the Democrats are anywhere near right, we could face an electoral disaster in 2008. In the state of Texas there are 6.5 million Catholics, most of them Hispanic, and a much larger group than Baptists! If Florida goes, can Texas be far behind?

On one of the Democratic debates, a reporter asked Hillary Clinton if she supported making "English the official language." Hillary was ready. She said, "English should be the national language, but not the official language." I thought, "Wow, she's a real pro, and too many of us are mere amateurs."

When it comes to the Hispanic vote, we Republicans need to wise up -- and grow up. We need to come up with a strategy that won't cost us yet another rapidly growing minority group.

We especially need to reject racism in all its forms. Otherwise, we will be not the hoped-for "emerging majority," but rather the permanent minority party.